Zoey And The Nice Guy (Big Girl Panties #1) Read online

  “It’s not always fear. Sometimes, I just don’t want to upset you.”

  “Worse, then, because you think I’m too crazy to be trusted with the truth.”

  He smiled down at his hands. “Well, if it’s honesty you want….”

  She sat up straight and shoved him. “I’m not crazy. I just have a short fuse.”

  He laughed. “Playing fast and loose with semantics, aren’t we?”

  “You’re an ass.”

  He glanced at her face and was relieved to see humor there. “Let me ask you this; do you think I’m an ass all the time, or is that just for this moment?”

  “Just for this moment.”

  “Then why tell me? If you know that in the next moment you might think I’m a pretty cool guy, why not wait for the bad moment to pass and avoid hurting my feelings?”

  “Because it’s too much work.”

  He laughed again. “All right. Well, I don’t mind doing the work. That’s what being nice is. It’s about empathy.”

  She snapped her phone in half and then stopped fidgeting with it. Broken shards of glass and plastic were on the verge of falling in her lap.

  “So…you want your mom to love you? Nothing wrong with that.”

  “You don’t think it’s pathetic? I do. I’m twenty-four years old. I’ve been on my own completely since I was sixteen. I think I’m fairly well adjusted.”

  He barked a laugh and immediately regretted it. He stared wide-eyed at her, not sure what she would do. She studied him for a moment before smiling and lifting her middle finger to him.

  “I’ve got a job, and a home, and no debt outside a mortgage. That’s more than a lot of people my age can say.”

  “You’re right,” he replied. “You’re doing fine, Zoey.”

  She nodded, satisfied. “So, with all of that, why do I still crave her love? I’m secure. I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone.” She blew out a wistful breath. “Anyway, I told her she had to stay in a hotel. So, maybe that will help.”

  She dug the toe of her shoe into the winter-dead grass at the base of the steps. After a few seconds, he realized she wasn’t talking. Or yelling. Or pushing him away. He moved a little closer—a very little. He put his hand on the step behind her. Still she didn’t push him away. He tried to think of something nice to say to her, when it suddenly sank in that she didn’t like his nice talk. She’d only ever responded positively when he yelled at her. What the hell was he supposed to do with that information?

  “She can’t be half the crazy bitch that you are,” he said. “Maybe Christmas won’t be so bad.”

  She laughed and shoved him with her shoulder. “You sure know how to make a girl blush.” At that, she stood up, smacked him upside the head, and went inside. He decided to take it as a compliment.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Later that morning, Zoey found herself alone with two traumatized children in a Christmas tree lot. “Um. That one’s cool,” she said, pointing to a six foot tall pine.

  Matthew shrugged noncommittally. Sophie clung to his side.

  “You know, you guys get to pick. Whichever one you want. Did you see that monster over there?” The Douglas fir she pointed out was well over six feet tall. She wondered if it would even fit in her house once she got it on the stand.

  The kids didn’t answer. Matthew took Sophie’s hand and meandered around the lot. He stopped in front of a scrawny, little Spruce. “It’s a Charlie Brown tree,” Sophie whispered to her brother. Then she looked at Zoey. “Nobody will buy it because it’s so skinny. Can we get it?”

  “You want a skinny tree? No problem. Do you like it, Matthew?”

  “Sophie picks the tree,” he said decisively.

  “All righty, then.”

  Zoey had told Kellen she was taking his truck and he could use her car for the day. He hadn’t argued.

  She found a guy to load the tree in the back of Kellen’s truck.

  She paid the tree guy and then helped the kids in. She liked driving the truck. It seemed out of character for Kellen, whom she’d never considered as outdoorsy or particularly macho.

  There was a bag of trail mix in the cup holder and a pair of sunglasses on the visor. She put her hands on the wheel where his hands had been and wore his sunglasses.

  “Hey, do I look like Uncle Kellen?” she asked the kids.

  They laughed at her, which felt good. She had a hard time getting a smile out of them, normally.

  “I’m Uncle Kellen, and I smile all the time,” she said, in her best Kellen voice. “And I only say nice things and everybody loves me.”

  The kids laughed even more.

  “Now you kids behave, or I might have to give you a stern talking to.”

  They were in gales and she found herself laughing, too. Kellen really was too precious. She wasn’t sure what had changed. Maybe it was the way he’d taken care of Maya yesterday. Or the way he stood for himself when Zoey tried to push him away. Whatever it was, she decided she didn’t mind having him around so much.

  They went home. Maya and Addy were still at the courthouse. Kellen had gone to meet with his parents and explain the situation. So, she was on her own to wrestle the tree out of the truck. She laid it across her porch and found her stand in the garage. She screwed the stand onto the trunk of the tree and then stood it up. It was barely as tall as her and had lost about half its needles in the process of getting it home. The kids were grinning when she brought it inside, so she guessed it had done its job.

  She sat it in the corner of her living room, at the end of the sofa. “You guys wanna decorate it?”

  “Mom usually makes cookies and plays Christmas music.”

  She sighed. “Cookies. Hmm. I’ve never made cookies. Is it hard?”

  They shrugged, looking wide-eyed and adorable.

  “Maybe we’ll go to the store and get the ingredients, and then your mom can help us when we get back.”

  “She should probably rest,” Matthew said.

  Zoey got a little twinge in the vicinity of her heart. “She should. But maybe she can tell us how to do it and we can make them while she rests on the sofa. Would that work?”

  They both nodded. So they piled back into the truck and headed to the grocery store. Zoey didn’t know what they needed or how much, so she just bought whatever the kids said. She was pretty sure they ended up with way more candy than was strictly necessary when making cookies.

  They went home, again, and this time, Maya and Addy were there. Addy was settling Maya into her recliner. She was still so stiff and sore. Damon deserved to die.

  The kids followed Zoey in, carrying bags of groceries. She couldn’t believe how helpful they were.

  “Hey, babies,” Maya said.

  The kids put the groceries in the kitchen and went to her, but stood back.

  “Come here, Sophie,” she said. “If you sit on my left leg like this, I’ll be just fine.”

  Sophie carefully climbed onto her mother’s lap and leaned against her.

  “Matthew, I’ve got a spot right here.” She patted the chair. There was a thin strip of space between her and the arm.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You can’t hurt me. I’m tough as nails. Besides, I need to snuggle with my babies.”

  He put his knee on the chair and wedged in next to her, keeping the jostling to a minimum. She didn’t even wince as she put her arm around him and brought him to her side.

  Zoey bit her lip. Maya’s fingers gently stroked the cheeks of her two, little cherubs. Zoey blinked, trying to trace in her mind the journey that this woman had taken from the girl she used to hang out with in the gym after school. She’d gone from playing truth-or-dare at their slumber parties to breastfeeding a baby in her prom dress.

  Zoey remembered that prom night.

  Maya had dropped out of school to live with Damon and raise her baby, and Zoey had graduated early, but Addy was kind enough to ask them to be her dates to senior prom. Zoey and Addy
drove in Addy’s Camaro to Damon and Maya’s apartment. Only a week before they’d taken Maya shopping for a dress. Now they would get to see her wearing it.

  Maya opened the door to their knock. She smiled and hugged them. “I can’t believe you’re taking me to prom! This is so amazing.”

  She was in a shimmery, blue halter dress. Zoey whistled at her. “You look so hot. Your breasts are amazing.”

  “God, Zoey, boundaries,” Addy grumbled.

  “I know,” Maya answered. “I love breastfeeding. I’ll be sad when they go back to their normal size. Damon’s even mentioned I should get a boob job. Come on in.”

  Zoey’s mood faltered as she followed her friend inside. It didn’t seem a very kind thing for a husband to suggest to his wife.

  “Wow,” came a male voice off to the right. “You girls look fantastic.” Kellen was in the kitchen holding his nephew in one arm and wiping down the counter with his free hand. Maya went to him and took the baby. She sat in her rocking chair in the living room and unclasped her halter top, baring her breasts. Zoey glanced at Kellen. He was smiling adoringly at Maya, not at all ogling her breasts. Zoey wondered if maybe he was gay.

  She and Addy took seats on the sofa. Zoey’s tension rose when Kellen sat in a chair next to her. He smiled at her. “How’s school?” he asked.

  She glared at him and then rolled her eyes.

  “School’s going well,” Addy said. “How’s college?”

  “It’s cool. I wish I’d done what Zoey did and gotten dual credits and taken CLEP tests. She’s eighteen and already a junior in college. I think that’s just amazing, Zoey. A real accomplishment.”

  “Whatever,” Zoey muttered.

  “No, really. I truly admire you. I’ve never seen anyone work so hard.”

  “Jesus, what do you want?”

  He blinked and sat back, his smile fading to a frown. “I don’t want anything. I just thought—“

  “I don’t really care what you think.” Zoey turned to Maya. The baby was sucking away, making little grunts and snorts. “He’s really hungry, isn’t he?”

  Maya smiled. “Always.”

  “She tried to nurse him in church,” Kellen said with laughter in his voice. “She thought she could do it with a blanket there in service and no one would know. But he smacked and snorted like a pig routing around for food. Everyone was turning around looking for the source of the noise.”

  Maya giggled.

  Zoey wished Kellen would just vanish. She kept her shoulder turned to him and pretended he wasn’t there. “How long will you breastfeed?”

  “Not much longer, I think. He’s already doing bottles half the time. Which is why I can go to prom tonight. Mattie loves being fed by his uncle Kellen.”

  “Stay out as long as you like,” Kellen said. “You’ve earned it.”

  Zoey wanted to break his nose again.

  At last, Mattie finished nursing. Maya set him on a rug in the corner of the living room. He reached into a bucket for his toys and immediately began pulling them out.

  Maya, having fixed her dress, strapped into her shoes and grabbed her purse. “Ready?”

  Zoey and Addy rose and followed her out the door. Zoey was last out when a hand wrapped around her arm. She turned to face Kellen as she jerked her arm out of his grasp. “What?” she snapped.

  His eyes widened. “Uh, nothing. I was just going to wish you a good night. I’m glad you get to go to your prom. You and Maya shouldn’t miss out on something like that.”

  She gaped at him. “Yeah. Okay.” She turned and followed her friends down to Addy’s car.

  Zoey had always remembered that moment for Maya’s beauty; the incongruence of her child-like enthusiasm for a long-standing high school ritual, and her very adult responsibility in caring for her son. Now, looking at her holding her two children, the reality of Maya’s womanhood washed over her. Maya had left an abusive husband for the sake of her children. There she sat, broken in body, but still nurturing her children.

  “You have to tell me how to make cookies,” Zoey said. If Maya could birth and raise these two, sweet children, Zoey could at least help them bake their Christmas cookies.

  “You don’t have to do that for us.”

  “I want to. We want cookies and music while we decorate our tree, isn’t that right?”

  Matthew and Sophie nodded emphatically.

  “Okay,” Maya said. “Well, first thing is, you have to get the butter soft.”

  “Love it when you talk dirty.” She winked at Maya and headed to the kitchen.

  Maya talked her through the process. Matthew and Sophie sat at the bar and helped, which meant they scooped globs of cookie dough out of the bowl and ate them. They apparently had to chill the dough before rolling it out to make sugar cookies, so they decided to make some chocolate chip cookies while they were waiting.

  Since Zoey didn’t know what she was doing, the whole ordeal was a major mess. But the kids had fun, which was all that mattered.

  Addy, who had been crashing on the couch the past couple of nights, came and leaned on the bar next to them. “Mommy’s taking a nap, guys,” she said softly.

  They automatically lowered their voices. Zoey leaned over the counter and peeked into the living room. Maya was reclined back with her mouth slightly open, looking like a beat-up angel.

  “Hey, now that Aunt Zoey’s got the cookies in the oven,” Addy said, “why don’t you guys get cleaned up and go watch TV in her room for a while.”

  Zoey had a ton more ingredients. She’d gone completely overboard due to her lack of knowledge on the subject of cookie baking, so she got started making some more dough. She was going to chop up a bunch of the candy the kids had talked her into buying and mix it all in.

  “They couldn’t find Damon,” Addy said.

  Zoey glanced up at her. “He’ll crawl up out of whatever hole he’s hiding in.”

  “They can’t serve him until he does. They warned her that leaving an abuser often causes him to escalate. It could get dangerous here.”

  “Well, maybe she’ll let me carry my gun, then. She made me lock it up yesterday and I don’t know how I’m supposed to protect them if I’m unarmed.”

  “You and that gun. It’s ridiculous, Zoey.”

  “I’m a single woman. You should have a weapon, too. You spend your time in that apartment in the city all alone, walking all over the place by yourself…you need protection. At least, carry some mace.”

  Addy shrugged. “Professor McDaniel either drives me or walks me when it’s late.”

  “Oh, yes, Professor McSexyPants. Are you finally screwing him?”

  “God, why do you have to be so crude?”

  She shrugged and measured flour into her bowl of butter, sugar, and eggs. “I just want to see you get that guy out of your system so you can get back to the happy, friendly Addy we all know and love.”

  “This isn’t high school. You’ve got to accept that we’re all growing and changing. You’re changing, too, Zoey. You just don’t want to admit it. And, no, I’m not sleeping with the professor. I’m his TA and that would be completely inappropriate. It could also get him fired, so I’d appreciate if you could stop talking so flippantly about it.”

  “Fine, but if you’re not going to do him, can I?”

  “He would not be interested in you, I promise.”

  “You don’t know. I have ways, Addy. Secret, sexy ways.” She gave her a wink and finally got a smile out of her. “Okay, so how is Maya doing?”

  “The pain killers have really got her mellow, but she’s worried about the kids. She was a wreck the whole time we were out. I don’t think she separates from them very often. The sheriff said he’d have your neighborhood patrolled regularly but they can’t afford to post an officer outside your house or anything.”

  “Is custody going to be a problem?”

  “Not yet. The order requires him to stay completely away from her and the kids until the court date, which will be J
anuary third.”

  “Great. So, if he shows up, we just call the cops.”

  “Yeah, here.” Addy slid a business card across the counter. “Put Charlie’s number on speed dial, and show the kids how to use it. That way you won’t have to go through nine-one-one, and he’s already apprised of the danger.”

  Zoey took the card by the corner and then grabbed her phone off the wall. As she put in the number, she heard a car pull into her driveway. Her car, driven by Kellen. Just like that, she thought back to prom night. Had he liked her, then, or had he just been trying to be nice?

  For some reason, her body warmed. Her head lightened. Something like joy began to pulse through her.

  Something was seriously messed up.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  While Zoey was buying Christmas trees and attempting to bake cookies, Kellen was with his parents. They sat in the breakfast nook of their large, colonial home. Judging by the serene smiles on their faces, they had no idea what was going on.

  Kellen grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at the table with them.

  “What brings you by, dear?” his mother, Lois, asked.

  “Have you heard from Damon?”

  “Not lately.”

  Kellen took a breath. “Maya’s leaving him.”

  Their faces gradually fell around their in-tact smiles, morphing their expressions into something weird and grotesque. “Why?” Lois finally asked.

  Kellen dreaded telling them what their son had done. He could barely wrap his own mind around it. He took a deep breath and lowered his head. “Damon’s been…he’s been hurting her. Last night he beat her severely and, apparently, it’s not the first time. I don’t know about the kids. Maya seems to think he’s never hurt them. But with Matthew getting older, I’m afraid it’s just a matter of time.”

  He lifted his eyes, daring to take in their undoubtedly hurt expressions. Bryan’s mouth was hanging open. Lois looked almost amused. “Dear,” Lois said, “I don’t know what Maya told you, but Damon would never do that to her. Is it possible she was stepping out on him? Maybe her boyfriend did that.”